Have any of you ever been to a Perkins during the daytime? It's horrifying. Instead of the alternate teenagers who can't have fun at home, you have these massive land-bound dewgongs who need walkers just to stand up to walk to the crapper. I was there talking to a dude about possible employment working with the near-dead and dying and it was really appropriate to be surrounded by so many people who look as if they're perfectly okay with how they're all on a slipperly slope that leads to the grave. Put down that bavarian creme muffin, my friend. Have some fruit.

Pete said last night that maybe I'm going through my mating season, and then I remember I already came up with that theory and he shouldn't get any of the credit. Late December/January is my fuckin' time, and I think I best share it by wearing any of the trashy clothes and accessories I have spent time and money accumulating. (I am wearing a hat with a naked woman in the doggie position covered by the confederate flag! Dudes love that.)